Here are some examples of Universal Truths I found.
10. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
9. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
8. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
7. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
6. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
4. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
3. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
2. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
1. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.